We had a glitch in the blog site and are now back up and running. Lots to update....Here is her last update from Europe.
I'm still dreaming and smiling about the absolutely amazing cruise through the Mediterranean, it truly was the trip of a lifetime and I enjoyed every moment. When friends ask me which city was my favorite, all I can think to answer is "yes".
Each port brought it's own delights and uniqueness....Barcelona with it's stunning Gaudi architecture, especially La Sagrada Familia (the church) and the Avenue Las Ramblas with the colorful open air market, street artists, restaurants and shops. Florence with the Duomo and beautiful churches, the Ponte Vecchio and art museums that take your breath away. Naples, the rough little sea town with the Pompeii ruins, Monaco - we could at least see the outside of the Monte Carlo casino, seems shorts and sandals were not exactly "dress code" :) Makes me want to see "To Catch A Thief" again since so many spots in Monaco were recognizable from the film all those years ago. And the private yachts - oh my gosh, I didn't think they could be that huge! For sheer beauty, I think I enjoyed Mykenos the most. The backdrop of blue green Mediterranean waters against the whitewashed houses with their blue roofs and doors, the ancient windmills with the gorgeous blue sky behind them and a warm Mediterranean breeze tickling the little pin feathers on my head. Breathtaking. Athens....to be standing on the Acropolis, looking out over the valley surrounding it, all the amazing architecture....so many times I would have to almost pinch myself (in each port) because I could hardly believe I was actually there. Not looking at postcards or travel guides or watching travel shows. Truly walking on the same roads as many had gone so many thousands of years before. Every time we'd get to a new city, I'd turn to my brother and say "Guess what!", he'd be the good brother and reply "What?" (always knowing what was coming) and I'd grin from ear to ear and say "I'm in Barcelona or Mykenos or Venice" (wherever we were).
Istanbul with the Sultan's Palace and San Sofia church, the Blue Mosque, remnants of the ancient Hippodrome....Ephesus, the city where early Christianity was first established. I cried a little to know I was walking on the same dusty paths as Jesus, Mary and John, very deeply moved by that experience. Venice.....what an amazing city with it's waterways and gondolas, water taxis and St. Mark's Basilica, the Rialto and the Bridge of Sighs. Loved it!
The weather was great while we were there, quite hot but not intolerable. The only two places that were real scorchers were Ephesus (110 degrees) and Athens (about 106 degrees). Most of the rest of the places averaged mid 90s for temperature and that wasn't bad. Made sure I had 70 sunblock on my head and a good sun hat!
There were so many experiences - the sights, sounds, smells, food, colors, people, culture, language - it would take me pages to tell you all the incredible things I enjoyed. I tried to sample a little of the local cuisine no matter where we were and had a few rather interesting "tastes" but didn't miss many meals, that's for sure!
And this doesn't even cover the very cool experience of being on a luxury cruise ship! I was sure spoiled when I got home....very nice to have a pleasant cabin steward making up your room in the morning, turning down the sheets at night and always making sure there are fresh towels in the bathroom. And the food on a cruise ship.....well, let's just say "expanding your horizons" while traveling doesn't always mean seeing new places. :)
It was a great trip and I hope you can tell from what I've written here how much I enjoyed myself. Being with my brother and sister-in-law, niece and nephew plus many of Judith's (my sister-in-law) family members made this an adventure almost beyond description. The pictures on the blog are of me in Venice and with my nephew, Michael, before one of the formal dinners on the ship. If you have access to Facebook, my brother and niece have posted quite a few photo albums from our trip and you can see them from my page.
We're back in the "real world" now and the scan results are in. Discouragingly, the news was not good yet again. Seems the Abraxane and Carboplatin weren't working and the spots on the liver (that were there before) are larger plus there are a few new ones. No change in the nodule in the pancreas itself, however; the lymph node around it is bigger. The only piece of good news, I guess, is the lung tumor appears to have stabilized - it's not smaller but it's also not bigger and there appears to be no change at all. Would love to see it up and disappear, but for now, will take no changes as a good thing.
This is really disappointing news on two levels - first, obviously, it means we have to try yet another combination of chemo agents to try and stem the progression in the liver. I started this new chemo last Thursday - the name of the three drugs is quite lengthy and I don't remember exactly what they are, but they are referred to as "GTX" (sounds like a motor oil, doesn't it?). I'm back to weekly chemo, with two weeks on and one week off and we'll do another scan after two full cycles, 6 weeks from now.
The other issue is the continued progression of the cancer in the liver. So far, liver function has not been affected by the cancer (praise God for that!) but a major concern is that it will begin to cause problems (in the liver). Since the liver metabolizes all the chemicals going through the body, if it is affected by the cancer it could mean I can't continue to have chemo because my body won't be able to handle it. Now we aren't there yet and so far, my liver is ok but it is something to watch carefully. And truthfully, there are only so many bunnies in the hat for chemo combinations to try and, though we're not out of options, this is the 4th combination we've tried. As Dr. Karamlou said, this is a very aggressive cancer and it hasn't been responsive to treatment. Let's continue to pray this one does the trick.
Not easy news to hear and very sobering to realize options may becoming increasingly limited. I've shed my tears and continue to say my prayers for healing and still, no matter what, trust God and His plan for me. This journey on earth may be shorter than I'd like, but we aren't done yet and I continue to fight this disease with everything He has given me. Truthfully, the hardest part for me is having to make the phone calls to my family and friends to share more "suck" news (as I not so affectionately refer to it). I've come to terms with the cancer and what it may mean for me as it progresses but it never gets any easier to hear the anguish in the voices and see the fear in the eyes of the people I love so dearly. It's that pain I would dearly love to be able to take away, not my own.
And thankfully, I still feel good and have decent energy. I was so thrilled to be able to keep up on the Europe trip, I moved quite slowly at times but, by golly, with few exceptions made it to every single site and felt good. That's also what makes the conversations with Dr. Karamlou so bizarre - to look at me (other than being chemo bald) there are no outward indications I'm at all sick and yet on paper, I am considered terminal and it's just a matter of time. I still believe God can and may heal this cancer and certainly that is my prayer, as I know you are praying for me too, but I can only take each day as it comes and enjoy it for the blessings it holds.
A few weeks of summer left before I go back to work on the 31st and I plan to make the most of them. My mom, sister and I are going to Ashland this week to attend the Shakespeare Festival and that should be lots of fun - we've never been before. I'm flying back to CT with my sister to spend a week with her and her family in Westport and that will be great too. Then a week at home to rest before the wonderful chaos and bedlam of a new school year begins! I'm excited to meet my new "crop" of 6th graders and am so looking forward to being back to work. I was at school yesterday to get a few things organized in my classroom and print shop requests done and it felt so darn good to be there.
I hope each of you are enjoying this lovely summer too and am sending many hugs and much love.
Thanks for your continued support, encouragement and prayers, they mean more than I can every say.
Susan
