There was an expression Sue would always say to me (after we had talked through the days challenges or thanked God for his blessings). The phrase would always end with "Go be mighty Matt" and it gave me the assurance to move forward and use my gifts to the best of my abilities. It also built my confidence that I could accomplish anything I set my sights to and this phrase also provided comfort in that I had the confidence from someone I held so high in life's status. It is no different than a coach inspiring his/her players to reach beyond their capabilities. Isn't it amazing what four simple words can do for someone.
The past 4 days, Sue has been in the ICU & CCU. The surgery on Wednesday did not go as planned. The doctors opened her up to find the cancer was worse than expected and is now moving fast. They were unable to fully reach the right lung and decided to close her back up and discuss next steps with family. Everyone flew in to Portland and decided to follow the exact instructions Sue had communicated many times based on this possible scenario. The doctors are keeping her pain free and the family has been at her side all week.
I cannot describe in words, how special this time is with Susan even though everyone in the room would do ANYTHING to extract the cancer from her body. There was a special moment last night when my mother Carolynn was holding Sue's left hand and I was holding her right hand. We both realized (as we watched Sue sleep like a baby), that Sue's work is done here on earth. What she has accomplished in her 52 years is more than anyone I know. The amount of memories generated by one person is "mind blowing".
We will continue to keep you posted on her status, but as of Sunday morning, she is resting and taking slow steps towards heaven.
"Go be mighty Sue"
Love,
Matt
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Surgery on Wednesday
This Wednesday at 11:00a.m. PST , Sue will undergo surgery. This surgery is slightly different than what we had originally anticipated. Instead of the pockets of fluid being drained and replaced by talc, the surgery will be to drain the fluid around the lung pleura. The best description to provide for this is to think of the lungs inside a milk bottle with the milk bottle representing the rib cage. as you breath in and out, the pleura wall collects fluid and this procedure will put talc in place of that fluid. In addition, if there is any buildup of substance around the lung walls, procedure to clear or scrape it off would be the next step (that day) which is called decorcation. This may or may not be present until the surgeon views this during surgery. The final step will be (possibly) put in a pleurex catheter which will go in the upper chest exiting the right side of the lung.
Please pray for Sue's physical strength, energy, and due to this being a general anaesthetic, there will be increased risk and pray for a safe and sound surgery.
As for this past Thursday, Sue underwent chemo therapy and the procedure went just fine.
Matt
Finally, I want to reach out to my brother Mike Jr., who has been spending a lot of time in China on business and want you to know that you're thought of often and loved very very much.
Love your sis,
Sue
Please pray for Sue's physical strength, energy, and due to this being a general anaesthetic, there will be increased risk and pray for a safe and sound surgery.
As for this past Thursday, Sue underwent chemo therapy and the procedure went just fine.
Matt
Finally, I want to reach out to my brother Mike Jr., who has been spending a lot of time in China on business and want you to know that you're thought of often and loved very very much.
Love your sis,
Sue
Monday, February 15, 2010
Update on Sue
Hello Family & friends,
An update for all of you on Sue's doctor visit Friday. I need to prepare you that the news is not very good, but would rather have you hear it from me than have Sue explain it which takes away too much of her energy right now.
Her physical condition continues to slowly slide as it takes her a long time to get off the couch, out of bed, dress herself etc... this should paint a picture of her current condition, let alone walking around with an oxygen line full time (she only had part time prior to the pneumonia).
Friday, she had two key follow-ups:
1. blood work to see where her red & white blood cells are (her red cell ct.needs to be around 12 to receive chemo and is currently at 9.4 from an 8 a week ago). Dr. Karamlou is comfortable about proceeding with chemo since it is trending towards 12 and will continue to monitor it once they handle the lung situation.
2. x-ray on her lungs to see what % fluids are remaining in the lungs (learned that her lungs were 40-45% full of fluid when she had it extracted. They took it down to 30% since the bottom portion of her right lung has collapsed. We discovered that no additional fluids have entered the lungs (this is good), but it remains in the lungs and two options are possible: a drainage system that is high maintenance and susceptible to infection or a procedure called talcpleuradesis in which they surgically place a substance that closes off all the pockets and chambers absorbing the fluids and becomes an irritant causing the fluid not to settle in the lung. The risk is possible infection and another toll it takes on Sue's body.
Here is the tough news and I will be as straight forward as I can. We asked the doctor hard questions as he was explaining that Sue will never get any better than she is today and that her condition is declining and looks like she will continue to decline at the rate we have seen over the past two weeks. He also stated they are now at a point where decisions whether to go through with the talcpleuradesis or not is only going to prolong your life a little longer, but there is a risk to infection which would accelerate a downturn.
We cried a lot Friday night and mom, Sue and myself discussed what we felt was the best decision. Sue will never be someone who throws in the towel, but understands her condition and know hers days are numbered. As of right now, she has elected to continue to "swing the bat" and go through the surgical procedure (small incision through her back and enter through the bottom half of her lung). We don't know how much time she has left, and this is not ours to know, but Sue continues to fight with everything that's available to her.
Sue is not ready to leave us and continues to mention family and friends that mean EVERYTHING to her. Her life right now is difficult and hard to do anything and is constantly out of breath. I told her last week that I would support her to go anywhere outside the US to try different types of cancer remedies, but she has decided that she wants to stay here close to friends and family and not find herself alone in a foreign country if things go wrong. I respect that decision, but like her, want to keep swinging the bat.
Finally, in her amazing ways, what makes Sue break down and cry (I can't describe how painful it is to hear her cry the way she has the past 24 hrs) is the pain she thinks it has on all her loved ones. Instead of thinking about what she is going through, she is more concerned with everyone else. This is why we hold her in such high esteem.
I asked her today if she would be willing to fly out for Tara's graduation and she said "absolutely", so it gives her hope to meet this milestone.
I am back home after being away for 2 weeks, but the good news is that the Moellers (sister Stacy & family) are there and are loving on Sue.
One note: Mom is living with Sue full time and has been ABSOLUTELY amazing caring for Sue. She has been rock solid and doing what she does best. Caring for her children.
Sue really enjoys hearing from her friends and loved ones, but understand her energy is limited and will respond to e-mails and phone calls when she can.
One of her greatest regrets is that she cannot be with her students right now, but wants them to know that she loves them dearly and looks forward to seeing them soon.
Matt
An update for all of you on Sue's doctor visit Friday. I need to prepare you that the news is not very good, but would rather have you hear it from me than have Sue explain it which takes away too much of her energy right now.
Her physical condition continues to slowly slide as it takes her a long time to get off the couch, out of bed, dress herself etc... this should paint a picture of her current condition, let alone walking around with an oxygen line full time (she only had part time prior to the pneumonia).
Friday, she had two key follow-ups:
1. blood work to see where her red & white blood cells are (her red cell ct.needs to be around 12 to receive chemo and is currently at 9.4 from an 8 a week ago). Dr. Karamlou is comfortable about proceeding with chemo since it is trending towards 12 and will continue to monitor it once they handle the lung situation.
2. x-ray on her lungs to see what % fluids are remaining in the lungs (learned that her lungs were 40-45% full of fluid when she had it extracted. They took it down to 30% since the bottom portion of her right lung has collapsed. We discovered that no additional fluids have entered the lungs (this is good), but it remains in the lungs and two options are possible: a drainage system that is high maintenance and susceptible to infection or a procedure called talcpleuradesis in which they surgically place a substance that closes off all the pockets and chambers absorbing the fluids and becomes an irritant causing the fluid not to settle in the lung. The risk is possible infection and another toll it takes on Sue's body.
Here is the tough news and I will be as straight forward as I can. We asked the doctor hard questions as he was explaining that Sue will never get any better than she is today and that her condition is declining and looks like she will continue to decline at the rate we have seen over the past two weeks. He also stated they are now at a point where decisions whether to go through with the talcpleuradesis or not is only going to prolong your life a little longer, but there is a risk to infection which would accelerate a downturn.
We cried a lot Friday night and mom, Sue and myself discussed what we felt was the best decision. Sue will never be someone who throws in the towel, but understands her condition and know hers days are numbered. As of right now, she has elected to continue to "swing the bat" and go through the surgical procedure (small incision through her back and enter through the bottom half of her lung). We don't know how much time she has left, and this is not ours to know, but Sue continues to fight with everything that's available to her.
Sue is not ready to leave us and continues to mention family and friends that mean EVERYTHING to her. Her life right now is difficult and hard to do anything and is constantly out of breath. I told her last week that I would support her to go anywhere outside the US to try different types of cancer remedies, but she has decided that she wants to stay here close to friends and family and not find herself alone in a foreign country if things go wrong. I respect that decision, but like her, want to keep swinging the bat.
Finally, in her amazing ways, what makes Sue break down and cry (I can't describe how painful it is to hear her cry the way she has the past 24 hrs) is the pain she thinks it has on all her loved ones. Instead of thinking about what she is going through, she is more concerned with everyone else. This is why we hold her in such high esteem.
I asked her today if she would be willing to fly out for Tara's graduation and she said "absolutely", so it gives her hope to meet this milestone.
I am back home after being away for 2 weeks, but the good news is that the Moellers (sister Stacy & family) are there and are loving on Sue.
One note: Mom is living with Sue full time and has been ABSOLUTELY amazing caring for Sue. She has been rock solid and doing what she does best. Caring for her children.
Sue really enjoys hearing from her friends and loved ones, but understand her energy is limited and will respond to e-mails and phone calls when she can.
One of her greatest regrets is that she cannot be with her students right now, but wants them to know that she loves them dearly and looks forward to seeing them soon.
Matt
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
My Prayer
Dear God,
I am asking for some extra time this month between you and my sister Sue. As you know she is ill with cancer and is in dire need of rest and energy to fight this dreaded disease. You have my permission to extract it all from her body and insert it into mine. She is everything to me and many others reading my prayer. In my heart of hearts, I know she will do great things before she enters heaven's gates and this chapter is not ready to end. I found out today that she is home, but very weak. There were inconclusive evidence regarding infection and malignancy from the fluid in her lungs. Her blood counts are low, but improved since last week. She has x-rays on the 15th to see if there is additional lung fluids and if so it looks like a drainage tube will be inserted. She is also having blood work on Friday and chemo on the 18th. Physically she is very fatigued and frustrated she cannot take care of herself. She is grateful for her mother Carolyn, Tracy & Craig, Carol, Sheila and of course, Annie. She also references her work colleagues and the West Valley family as well as many other angels who have communicated encouragement.
Of course you already know this because you are Lord and Savior, so my prayer is simple. Take out the cancer, provide her health back and insert energy back into that glorious body so we can have our Sue back.
Amen
I will be up there Thursday to help care for my 100 ct. diamond.
I love you Sue and know God has a plan. I just pray HIS plan and my plan are aligned. Now that I've lost 10 lbs in tears all over this keyboard, it's time for rest. You do the same and I'll see you in 48 hrs.
Love,
Matt
I am asking for some extra time this month between you and my sister Sue. As you know she is ill with cancer and is in dire need of rest and energy to fight this dreaded disease. You have my permission to extract it all from her body and insert it into mine. She is everything to me and many others reading my prayer. In my heart of hearts, I know she will do great things before she enters heaven's gates and this chapter is not ready to end. I found out today that she is home, but very weak. There were inconclusive evidence regarding infection and malignancy from the fluid in her lungs. Her blood counts are low, but improved since last week. She has x-rays on the 15th to see if there is additional lung fluids and if so it looks like a drainage tube will be inserted. She is also having blood work on Friday and chemo on the 18th. Physically she is very fatigued and frustrated she cannot take care of herself. She is grateful for her mother Carolyn, Tracy & Craig, Carol, Sheila and of course, Annie. She also references her work colleagues and the West Valley family as well as many other angels who have communicated encouragement.
Of course you already know this because you are Lord and Savior, so my prayer is simple. Take out the cancer, provide her health back and insert energy back into that glorious body so we can have our Sue back.
Amen
I will be up there Thursday to help care for my 100 ct. diamond.
I love you Sue and know God has a plan. I just pray HIS plan and my plan are aligned. Now that I've lost 10 lbs in tears all over this keyboard, it's time for rest. You do the same and I'll see you in 48 hrs.
Love,
Matt
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Surgery was a success and no permanent drain needed
Sue had a successful procedure this afternoon. The doctors were able to extract out 1quart of fluid from her right lung. (Yes, 1 quart) The lung collapsed for a short time before they were able to stabilize the lung and as of tonight, everything is in place and working. No need for a drain since they were able to capture the majority of fluid.
They are currently testing the fluid and should have a direction as to whether or not it is infected or malignant. If the fluid is infected, they will determine the antibiotic within the next 48 hrs. If it is malignant, we will understand next steps by the weekend.
Overall, Sue is handling this like a superstar. She viewed the scans of both lungs and had labeled each lung after micro brews based on the clarity or lack of clarity in the lungs. One was a Guinness and one resembled more of an pale ale. Typical Sue finding ways to smile through it all.
Sue is a trooper and always thankful for each day.
Your prayer support is greatly appreciated. She will either be coming home by the weekend or soon after.
More to come....
Matt
They are currently testing the fluid and should have a direction as to whether or not it is infected or malignant. If the fluid is infected, they will determine the antibiotic within the next 48 hrs. If it is malignant, we will understand next steps by the weekend.
Overall, Sue is handling this like a superstar. She viewed the scans of both lungs and had labeled each lung after micro brews based on the clarity or lack of clarity in the lungs. One was a Guinness and one resembled more of an pale ale. Typical Sue finding ways to smile through it all.
Sue is a trooper and always thankful for each day.
Your prayer support is greatly appreciated. She will either be coming home by the weekend or soon after.
More to come....
Matt
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Follow the yellow brick road
What a journey. Sue learned today that her right lung is 1/3 functioning with fluid located at the base of the lung. She also found out she needs to have Thoracentisis tomorrow morning in order to find out if the fluid in her lungs is malignant, infected or both. The procedure takes place in the morning and she will exit surgery with a drainage tube from her right lung. The left lung is perfectly fine and waiting for her to start cycling and hiking again.
The good news is that the blood thinner Lovanox allows her to miss one cycle and get back on without any side effects. She will find out more tomorrow afternoon from her radiologist and continues to have a positive attitude from her hospital bed.
For Sue's students who have continued to write her notes and draw pictures, continue this every day as this gives her hope and inspires her to get back to what she loves most in life......all of you.
Enjoy the journey....Sue sure is
Matt
The good news is that the blood thinner Lovanox allows her to miss one cycle and get back on without any side effects. She will find out more tomorrow afternoon from her radiologist and continues to have a positive attitude from her hospital bed.
For Sue's students who have continued to write her notes and draw pictures, continue this every day as this gives her hope and inspires her to get back to what she loves most in life......all of you.
Enjoy the journey....Sue sure is
Matt
Monday, February 1, 2010
I'm at Good Sam Hospital
Checked in again with continued problems with phlegm in the lungs. CT Scan shows fluid and other problems in lung. More tests to be done, scan also shows new tumors in liver. Currently in ICU moving to cancer center by tomorrow. I am feeling physically o.k., but emotionally fragile with the latest news.
God continues to bless me with a merciful reprieve from pain. Please continue to pray and pray hard.
Love,
Susan
Per her brother Matt:
I can't thank you all enough for your continued prayer support. I am reaching out to all of you tonight and ask for continued prayer support throughout the week. We all know additional fluid in the lungs is a serious matter and Sue's emotions are extremely sensitive as her energy continues to get sucked out of her from all the prodding, pinching and sticking the hospital undertakes while dealing with multiple tests etc....
Her comment about pray hard says it all. We'll keep you posted on what tomorrow brings.
In Him Always,
Matt
God continues to bless me with a merciful reprieve from pain. Please continue to pray and pray hard.
Love,
Susan
Per her brother Matt:
I can't thank you all enough for your continued prayer support. I am reaching out to all of you tonight and ask for continued prayer support throughout the week. We all know additional fluid in the lungs is a serious matter and Sue's emotions are extremely sensitive as her energy continues to get sucked out of her from all the prodding, pinching and sticking the hospital undertakes while dealing with multiple tests etc....
Her comment about pray hard says it all. We'll keep you posted on what tomorrow brings.
In Him Always,
Matt
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