What can make him walk for more than a mile.....one of the many camp songs that is still bouncing around in my head after Outdoor School with the kids last week. As you can see from the pictures, we had gorgeous weather - probably the best ever in 10 years of going to Outdoor School . We went to Camp Trickle Creek, a great site nestled in the foothills west of Salem , and it was so much fun. Campfire each night, goofy camp songs and skits, eating together in the dining hall, a night hike, not to mention the actual "school" part of Outdoor School, field studies in plants, animals, soil and water. There's nothing like watching kids experience the outdoors in a new and different way - to see them get so excited over catching (and releasing) a newt or watching the bats in the night sky or playing games where they get to be different stages of the forest. It's so much fun! I was tickled to have two high school counselors there that had been my students many years ago - one of the pictures is me and "Poppy", she was in my 6th grade class six years ago. The other two pictures are one of my classes as we were "hanging out" late in the afternoon and a nice shot of the camp.
I was so grateful to be a part of the Outdoor School experience this year. It's a lot of energy and can be exhausting even on a good day and I wasn't sure how I'd hold up. Praise God, I felt just fine. I do tire more easily, a side effect of the chemo, and couldn't do the long hike or running games, but was able to be a part of everything else. My colleagues took good care of me too, making sure I didn't overdo and covering whenever needed. And I must say, we did one very funny skit at campfire that is still making me laugh! I am very blessed. :)
There are times the reality of this cancer rears it's ugly head and, sometimes, just the sheer joy of watching the kids having fun and being a part of the beautiful surroundings made me cry. The tears were mixed, joy at watching the kids and sadness with the realization that, quite possibly, this could be my last outdoor school experience. Not a morbid thought, but as I say, there are times I am reminded of my mortality in this whole cancer thing.
This doesn't, for one minute, take away from my intent to be fully healed, and perhaps there is no easy way to explain this, but I'll try. Cancer is now a permanent part of my world. It isn't always a conscious thought and, truthfully, often it isn't on the conscious level at all - that is a huge praise that I still feel good, have energy and no symptoms or significant side effects. But it is there and will be, until I am fully healed. There are moments when the reality of the cancer surfaces and there are practical matters that have to be dealt with such as advance directives for the hospital, a will, stuff like that. It's things that all of us have done or will do at some point in our lives. Mine just happens to be a little more pressing at the moment. And there are moments of deep sadness - realizing that I may not be able to dance at my niece's and nephew's weddings or hold their babies or get all seven continent stamps in my passport or be that brazen old lady dancing the Argentine tango in a scandalous dress slit to....use your imagination. ;) I may not have that kind of time. Only God knows that and I trust Him and His plan for me.
For now, for today, I feel great. It's a gorgeous sunny Memorial Day and I'm heading over to my cousin's house to enjoy time with family and a bbq. I've got some wonderful summer plans that are coming together nicely and I can hardly wait to pack my bags and travel a bit. My dog, Corbett, is doing just fine and continues to be the diva of the household. Tomorrow I go back to work to a job I love and I am deeply grateful to have a job next year - budget cuts in our district have eliminated a lot of teaching positions and friends of mine have lost their jobs for next year. My favorite ice cream flavor, Baseball Nut, has returned to Baskin-Robbins for the season - yum! The baseball game is on the radio and, unfortunately, the Mariners are losing to the A's, but the game isn't over yet! Life is really good and I'm enjoying each and every day.
This is my wish for you, too. Reach out, grab the day with both hands and enjoy every moment!
Love and hugs to all,
I was so grateful to be a part of the Outdoor School experience this year. It's a lot of energy and can be exhausting even on a good day and I wasn't sure how I'd hold up. Praise God, I felt just fine. I do tire more easily, a side effect of the chemo, and couldn't do the long hike or running games, but was able to be a part of everything else. My colleagues took good care of me too, making sure I didn't overdo and covering whenever needed. And I must say, we did one very funny skit at campfire that is still making me laugh! I am very blessed. :)
There are times the reality of this cancer rears it's ugly head and, sometimes, just the sheer joy of watching the kids having fun and being a part of the beautiful surroundings made me cry. The tears were mixed, joy at watching the kids and sadness with the realization that, quite possibly, this could be my last outdoor school experience. Not a morbid thought, but as I say, there are times I am reminded of my mortality in this whole cancer thing.
This doesn't, for one minute, take away from my intent to be fully healed, and perhaps there is no easy way to explain this, but I'll try. Cancer is now a permanent part of my world. It isn't always a conscious thought and, truthfully, often it isn't on the conscious level at all - that is a huge praise that I still feel good, have energy and no symptoms or significant side effects. But it is there and will be, until I am fully healed. There are moments when the reality of the cancer surfaces and there are practical matters that have to be dealt with such as advance directives for the hospital, a will, stuff like that. It's things that all of us have done or will do at some point in our lives. Mine just happens to be a little more pressing at the moment. And there are moments of deep sadness - realizing that I may not be able to dance at my niece's and nephew's weddings or hold their babies or get all seven continent stamps in my passport or be that brazen old lady dancing the Argentine tango in a scandalous dress slit to....use your imagination. ;) I may not have that kind of time. Only God knows that and I trust Him and His plan for me.
For now, for today, I feel great. It's a gorgeous sunny Memorial Day and I'm heading over to my cousin's house to enjoy time with family and a bbq. I've got some wonderful summer plans that are coming together nicely and I can hardly wait to pack my bags and travel a bit. My dog, Corbett, is doing just fine and continues to be the diva of the household. Tomorrow I go back to work to a job I love and I am deeply grateful to have a job next year - budget cuts in our district have eliminated a lot of teaching positions and friends of mine have lost their jobs for next year. My favorite ice cream flavor, Baseball Nut, has returned to Baskin-Robbins for the season - yum! The baseball game is on the radio and, unfortunately, the Mariners are losing to the A's, but the game isn't over yet! Life is really good and I'm enjoying each and every day.
This is my wish for you, too. Reach out, grab the day with both hands and enjoy every moment!
Love and hugs to all,
Susan
2 comments:
Dearest Susan,
God Bless you for being the inspiration to many. Thank you for sharing your life with others. I am going to read your entire blog and compose a summary and send it to you for your approval to be posted on the Cancer survivors against radon website. www.cansar.org.
Susan, you are making a difference in the lives and hearts that you touch--your students, your family, and your friends in Oregon and all over the nation. Please know that my thoughts and heart is with you. I pray God gives you many beautiful moments and loving times with those you love.
Gloria Linnertz
seascape@htc.net
VP, Cancer Survivors Against Radon
Susan,
You continue to amaze and inspire me.
Hugs,
Cindy
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