"The Body Is A Humbling Experience"

On February 21st, I had my last chemo and on February 27th, the last radiation session. Huge praises for that and now we wait while the chemo-rads continue to do their work, shrinking and frying the tumor and lymph nodes. The first stage is done! An easy, smooth last few days of treatment? Not so much.....

The last day of chemo, February 22nd, started well. Easy vein access for the needle and off we go. I made a passing comment to the nurse that I'd noticed that morning my arms were two different colors (normal skin tone vs. a pinkish/light purple color on the other) and wondered if it was because chemo discolored skin. I wasn't feeling pain or any discomfort so truly didn't think much of it. She looked intently at both arms, did a few quick circulatory tests and had a much different idea - a blood clot. After a phone consult with the doctor, it was decided I would have an ultrasound after chemo was done. The upshot was I did have a clot in the area of the chemo-port and I was immediately sent down to the emergency room for treatment. What started as an "easy" day was now turning into a very long day of being poked and prodded, more attempts to find veins for an IV (not too successfully),swabbed and tested, no food since breakfast and I was reaching the meltdown point. The good news was I didn't have to stay overnight for observation and could go home. I needed to be on a fast acting blood thinner and the prescription for that was shots to the stomach, twice daily.....self-administered. That was my breaking point. Not being overly fond of needles, the idea of having to give myself shots daily was beyond abhorrent to me. I just cried. Annie was with me and just comforted me while I sobbed in refusal to do this. As always, God comes to me in those broken moments and I looked up to see a frame on the wall that said "Be not afraid for I am with you (Isaiah)." I smiled through my tears, knowing that He was reminding me He's always there and knows I can do this. So I am doing the twice a day shots, not too thrilled with it, but not as bad as I'd feared. I was inspired too by my kiddos, all of 11 years old, that have to do this everyday for their insulin shots. Figured if they can do it, I can suck it up and do it too.

The chemo-port was removed surgically on February 24th and the surgery was without incident. Turns out the chemo-port actually was working ok and there wasn't a tear or leak - what prevented access was the blood clot that had formed in the area. What I did find out is what happens when radiation is done in a bandaged area. The adhesive around the edges of the bandage will sear to the skin and I have some lovely burns in a perfect rectangle on my upper chest. Might be a permanent reminder of the radiation, along with my little "rads" tattoos.

My next little bump in road was, as I affectionately called it, "stealth vomiting". Truly, I'd be feeling just fine and barely have a quick minute to register that....well, you get the idea. Unfortunately, these events seemed to have no consistent pattern and it was starting to freak me out a little bit. After a rather spectacular "technicolor yawn" while driving myself to radiation (and my driver's ed. boss would be pleased to know I still kept my eyes on the road until I could find a safe place to pull over), I was getting a bit uneasy about leaving the house since I couldn't predict when I'd be sick. In the best interests of all, I won't go into detail about what happens when you have these episodes and also have a slightly full bladder, but I'm sure you can figure out the end result of that one! :) Even with the strongest anti-nausea meds, I was still getting sick. It turns out the nausea isn't chemo related at all, but is the result of the severely inflamed esophagus from radiation. It's the esophagitis that I'd been warned about early on in treatment. There's so much inflammation right now, nothing solid will go down. I'm on a totally liquid diet for awhile, and with medication, should be back to somewhat solid food soon. It's not too bad - who can complain about multiple milkshakes in a day, but I do have to drink those nutritional high protein drinks and they are just nasty. I've figured out a few tricks to get those down too, so all is not lost. :) I ate a few noodles from my chicken soup broth this morning and that was great! It's the simple things in life....

Other than that, I'm really doing quite well. Both Doctors Kee and Karamlou have told me I am doing very well, considering how aggressive this treatment has been, and are pleased with that. My blood counts are low, but not bad and in line with where I should be at this stage of treatment. I have another blood test on Friday to recheck blood levels and a cat scan next week for the pancreas (not sure what day yet). This is the critical next step - to check status of the nodule in the pancreas and determine when I'll be strong enough for surgery to remove it. My prayer, of course, is they will scratch their heads in wonder when there is NO nodule there.....no scans on the lung will happen until at least the end of March. The chemo-rads are still doing their work and any scans prior to that would give inaccurate information. I'm praying for the miracle of NO tumor there either!

My brother, Mike, was here last weekend and it was great to have him here. He's fun and funny, kept me laughing, gave great hugs and was the calm presence through my "stealth vomiting" episodes. Mike is also quite the handyman and did all sorts of repairs around the house, plus all the computer "fixits" I've needed/wanted for awhile. It was a wonderful visit.

Yesterday was my first attempt at teaching again and I loved every moment. I taught the morning classes and had a great time with the kids, being back in the classroom. It was a busy morning with a staff meeting and 6th grade team meeting and I was really tired when I left after half a day. It was a good indication I'm not quite ready, physically, to go back to work just yet and need to ease back into it with several half days before full time work. Sure was fun though!

The sun is shining after a very soggy morning and the air smells so fresh and clean. I'm grateful to enjoy a warm mug of chicken soup broth and my big adventure today is a trip to the DMV to renew my driver's license. Since I don't want to be bald in the photo, I'm going to wear the Marge Simpson wig and just say nothing. After all, people wear wigs all the time in DMV photos, why shouldn't I have this one? :) Will be interesting to see their reaction and I will have a hat with me, just in case. :) My little "pin feathers" are growing a bit more, not much but a little bit, and I'm hopeful to not lose them in this last round of chemo

Corbett is doing fine and no signs of illness, thankfully. She has really enjoyed all the visitors and people staying here and I know she firmly believes they are all here to see her. Such the little diva!

Many things to look forward to in the next weeks.....going to the Regional Spelling Bee in Portland on March 14th with a student from Fowler. I'm the school coach/coordinator for our Bee and take the winner to the Regional competition. If Sam wins, we go to Washington, DC at the end of May! This is our school's 3rd year to compete and it's always so much fun. My brother, Matt, comes in for a visit soon and my sister, Stacy, comes next shortly after he leaves. Can't wait to give them hugs in person. As time and energy allows, I'm able to plan outings with friends and I have a never ending stack of books and small projects to enjoy. April 6th is Opening Day for baseball and I'm really enjoying the pre-season games. Starting to think about summer plans and what wonderful journeys God may have planned for me. Life is good! Take time in your busy days to enjoy the simple things, give a hug and kind word to a loved one, smile at a silly joke, savor the moments. They are the blessings we are given so freely.

Love and hugs to you all, thank you so much for your prayers, words of encouragement, and the wonderful community you are to me.

It means everything to me!

Susan