"The Tests Results Are In"

I must say, I wish there was better news to report regarding all the recent tests and it certainly is a mixed bag...the good news is the PET scan shows a significant reduction in the size of the lung tumor, almost 70% smaller, and that is a huge praise! The response to treatment (in the lung) has been very good and we'll hope for even better news when the final scans are done in a few weeks. No other "hot spots" were found anywhere else in the body and that's a praise of grateful thanks too.

The not so good news is the cancer in the pancreas has spread and is definitely in the lymph nodes around the pancreas. This means surgery is no longer an option to remove the nodules in the pancreas itself and chemo is the only treatment option. I've known from the beginning, when this was first diagnosed, that pancreatic cancer is very difficult to treat and without surgery, it's not a good prognosis. It seems the Cisplatin did an excellent job on the lung (as it's designed to do), but had no impact whatsoever on the pancreas. We'd hoped it would at least stem the progression, but that didn't happen. I'm now considered a Stage 4 for pancreatic cancer and we do what we can to slow it's spreading through the body.

I start chemo this Thursday - the chemo agent for the pancreas is Gemsar and it is supposed to work as well on the pancreatic cancer as Cisplatin did for the lung. That's good. The chemo is an IV treatment once a week - I go two weeks on (every Thursday) and then one week off and will be on this chemo for the rest of my life. I'll also continue a chemo protocol for the lung (Tarceva), but it's in pill form. Dr. Karamlou says the side effects of Gemsar won't be too bad, not even as bad as the side effects from Cisplatin. Since I didn't have any significant side effects from that, I'm hopeful this won't be too bad. He did say I won't get my hair back though....if that's the worst thing I have to deal with, I'm ok with that. Sure has made getting ready in the morning a breeze and I have a collection of some very cute hats.

Some have asked why we didn't combine Cisplatin and Gemsar from the beginning and fight both at the same time. This was a question I'd asked from the start - the reason is the two chemo agents are so powerful and potentially toxic that the combination would likely have been more than my body could handle. The fear was I would be unable to continue treatment due to the toxicity, meaning neither cancer could be treated, or worse, treatment induced mortality. We've known from the start that this is a very complex case, with two separate cancers, and so many decisions have been a bit of a gamble.

Surreal is the only word that adequately describes what we've all been feeling since getting the news. It is just bizarre to be talking about the implications of Stage 4 cancer and phrases like "treatment for the rest of your life" knowing that according to medical data, this is being measured in months or perhaps a year or two. It is especially surreal when I feel so good - I have no symptoms, no side effects, my energy level is better by the day and I'm back to eating normally with no complications.

As I've said before, I am not a number on a page, a statistic or medical data. God is my ultimate physician and I am grateful He has given me good, caring doctors and nurses and top notch medical procedures. I am still fighting this cancer with as much determination and vigor as before and still intend to be a cancer survivor!

Though this news has been hard with many tears shed, there are also so many happy, bright moments in the last weeks. Having my family here with me has been great - my sister, Stacy, was here this past week and we had so much fun together. It's the "rainbow" days of March (as my friend Becky describes them) - a combination of rain, sun, sometimes both together and lots of beautiful rainbows in between. I love the reminder of God's promise in the rainbows! The daffodils are coming into full bloom and I so enjoy the sunny yellow cheerfulness. My birthday was last week (18 years old with 34 years of experience - you do the math :) and my house is full of flowers, balloons and cards. A lovely celebration! And some very yummy cake too :)

Best of all, I'm going back to work on March 30th after spring break. I'll be working half-time, M-T-W, with chemo in Thursdays and the weekend to recover, if needed. I'm so excited to be back to teaching and being with the kiddos, they are my true medicine. "Marge", my blue wig, will be with me from time to time and since I might not have hair again, may need to venture out and add a few more to my collection. My brother, Mike, suggested Elvira or Lily Munster, I'm thinking maybe Pippi Longstocking with the braids. We'll see :)

Other plans? I don't know yet, I'm taking each day as it comes and enjoying it for the blessing it is. I'm so grateful for God's hedge of protection in feeling good and enjoying the blessings of each day. As He reminds me daily, "Be not afraid for I am with you" (Isaiah).

As Matt asked in a prior update, please keep praying hard and praying focused. This journey is far from over and I am grateful for all my wonderful friends and family that are right along side me every step of the way. Still too much to do for me to leave anytime soon!

Love and hugs to all of you,

Susan